"Take the shine right off your shoes....Carryin' the bedroom blues..." Jagger/Richards
It had to happen one day. My male 'muse', my inspiration,
and my partner in sexual adventure and I have decided to go our separate ways.
My mind is still reeling from the aftershocks. However, it is something we both
know has to be done. Everyone has to grow up at some point in their lives. Even
though we have been lovers twenty years or so, losing him has left me
shattered. We live different lives, in different cities but we have always had
a physical connection that neither of us has been able to ignore. Not that
either of us ever really wanted to ignore it. We have to give each other up
because Peter is a dad now and I have a partner as well. We don't want anyone
to get hurt.
I met Peter 20 some odd years ago. I can't tell you his
occupation or what he looks like, but I will let you know we met in a hotel
bar. When he walked in the room my body had a physical reaction. Everyone in
our group was celebrating his engagement, even though it was the first time I
had met him. As the night went on everyone left. Peter and I remained at the
bar. Nothing was said until I looked at him and said, 'If you will break your
engagement for one hour, you will never regret it.' His response? 'Let's go.'
As soon as the elevator doors closed and we found ourselves
alone, we couldn't take our hands off each other. If elevators have a group
equivalent to The Mile High Club, I am now a member. That wasn't enough. Peter
and I had sex in the mezzanine lobby outside the elevator before we made it to
his room. We still aren't certain how we managed that, unless the guys working
the security cameras were just completely shocked and mesmerized.
Peter always said we didn't have a physical attraction to
each other, we had a chemical reaction to each other. I was completely in love
with him but he explained that it was only sex. Only sex. That was why merely
hearing your lover's voice made your body weak with desire. We have an
addiction to each other. We were lovers, sexual confidants and we were our own secret. Everyone needs a secret.
Peter did get married the year after we met. The day after
he returned from his honeymoon he called me and we met each other for a night
of sex. We only saw each other occasionally but the passion, the desire for
each other has always remained. Once, I was in Amsterdam visiting my then fiancé.
As fate would have it, Peter was in town as well. My fiancé and I had just
returned to my hotel room following dinner. There was a knock on the door. It
was Peter. I would tell you what happened next, but you'll just have to read the
book one day. There are so many other escapades to relate to you, but I would
rather not think about them right now.
I have never liked to say good-bye, I prefer to say see you
later. But now I have to say good-bye to my favorite libertine and my fellow
sexual adventurer. My muse is free. I wish him light, love and happiness
always. Everything that ends is only the beginning of something new. Our
interlude is like everything in life--the ending always happens too soon.
After Peter and I talked on the phone this morning I have
looked for many different ways to distract myself. I've written this blog,
played with my various social media outlets, watched three Jack White videos,
wrote a magazine article and took one look at my latest zombie creation . The
Jack White segment of the day did make me feel better, I have to admit.
In one month I have had my accident, ankle surgery and now
this. Everything happens in cycles of three so my life seems to be on cycle,
changing as the seasons change. Another chapter will open soon.
Peter and I did agree it would be nice to see each other one
more time. I'll let you know what happens...
I'm kinda diggin' this. Cool style, comfortable style.
ReplyDelete-A.M.