"Take the shine right off your shoes....Carryin' the bedroom blues..." Jagger/Richards
It had to happen one day. My male 'muse', my inspiration, and my partner in sexual adventure and I have decided to go our separate ways. My mind is still reeling from the aftershocks. However, it is something we both know has to be done. Everyone has to grow up at some point in their lives. Even though we have been lovers twenty years or so, losing him has left me shattered. We live different lives, in different cities but we have always had a physical connection that neither of us has been able to ignore. Not that either of us ever really wanted to ignore it. We have to give each other up because Peter is a dad now and I have a partner as well. We don't want anyone to get hurt.
I met Peter 20 some odd years ago. I can't tell you his occupation or what he looks like, but I will let you know we met in a hotel bar. When he walked in the room my body had a physical reaction. Everyone in our group was celebrating his engagement, even though it was the first time I had met him. As the night went on everyone left. Peter and I remained at the bar. Nothing was said until I looked at him and said, 'If you will break your engagement for one hour, you will never regret it.' His response? 'Let's go.'
As soon as the elevator doors closed and we found ourselves alone, we couldn't take our hands off each other. If elevators have a group equivalent to The Mile High Club, I am now a member. That wasn't enough. Peter and I had sex in the mezzanine lobby outside the elevator before we made it to his room. We still aren't certain how we managed that, unless the guys working the security cameras were just completely shocked and mesmerized.
Peter always said we didn't have a physical attraction to each other, we had a chemical reaction to each other. I was completely in love with him but he explained that it was only sex. Only sex. That was why merely hearing your lover's voice made your body weak with desire. We have an addiction to each other. We were lovers, sexual confidants and we were our own secret. Everyone needs a secret.
Peter did get married the year after we met. The day after he returned from his honeymoon he called me and we met each other for a night of sex. We only saw each other occasionally but the passion, the desire for each other has always remained. Once, I was in Amsterdam visiting my then fiancé. As fate would have it, Peter was in town as well. My fiancé and I had just returned to my hotel room following dinner. There was a knock on the door. It was Peter. I would tell you what happened next, but you'll just have to read the book one day. There are so many other escapades to relate to you, but I would rather not think about them right now.
I have never liked to say good-bye, I prefer to say see you later. But now I have to say good-bye to my favorite libertine and my fellow sexual adventurer. My muse is free. I wish him light, love and happiness always. Everything that ends is only the beginning of something new. Our interlude is like everything in life--the ending always happens too soon.
After Peter and I talked on the phone this morning I have looked for many different ways to distract myself. I've written this blog, played with my various social media outlets, watched three Jack White videos, wrote a magazine article and took one look at my latest zombie creation . The Jack White segment of the day did make me feel better, I have to admit.
In one month I have had my accident, ankle surgery and now this. Everything happens in cycles of three so my life seems to be on cycle, changing as the seasons change. Another chapter will open soon.
Peter and I did agree it would be nice to see each other one more time. I'll let you know what happens...